Ryan Phillippe's Night Out

Some people argue that “L.A. fashion” is an oxymoron. I mean, can real fashion emerge from the land of Valley girls and movie stars? Everyone knows that real fashion is made in Paris, Milan and New York. So when a French designer shows in L.A., it's super thrilling.

But the only Parisian thing -- and this is a stretch! -- about the U.S. launch of Marceau Jeans was Paris Hilton’s crew modeling the tired denim and spandex (yes, spandex!) line of clothes. Kim Kardashian of sex tape fame, Brittny Gastineau of The Gastineau Girls, Trashy lingerie model Rachel Sterling, Real Housewives of Orange County's Jo De La Rosa (pictured) and wannabe model Caroline D’Amore sported faux hawks and electric guitars as they trampled down the catwalk. Caroline stomps like a horse down the runway, but her skinny legs make her nearly impossible to see if you're not front row!

I saw a very camera-shy Ryan Phillippe hanging out by some heat lamps with his crew. In typical Ryan form, he refused to be photographed. Maybe he didn’t want his looking-better-than-ever ex to know that he has stooped to Paris’ level. But he did look cute in his fitted khaki blazer and tennies!

Terminating The Apprentice

Miserable.

Grey.

Rainy.

The season six finale of The Apprentice on Sunday night was the coldest night in memory (which is all of like three weeks). Not even fireworks could get the chilled crowd pumped enough to chant Trump’s name as he came on stage. Very fitting for a lackluster season.

Tana from season three made a spotty entrance with an awful red leopard dress. Clearly the woman has never heard of Spanx. Her stuff was spilling everywhere! And then Danny, also from season three, actually wore a leisure suit but thankfully left the guitar at home! And Omarosa? She wore a mini black velvet top hat and bragged in between commercial breaks that she’s fundraising for Barack Obama’s presidential campaign. He obviously wants to lose if he’s working with that witch!

Interesting that only a few past winners were at the finale. I was able to spot Randal, looking sharp, smiley, and professional and Kendra. But where was Kelly? And Bill? It was probably a wise choice not to partake in the sadness that has become The Apprentice.

My favorite part of the night? When "special guest" George took the stage, audibly dragging the chains of Apprentice past. I screamed "I love you, George!" just as he began his spiel about who Trump should hire. There was no energy and I could feel the millions of viewers changing channels. Poor George…

I loved The Apprentice in season's past, but I think it’s about time to say "You're fired!" to Mr. Trump!

Lots of Ketchup... and a Bass

Always out for the best sweet potato fries, I knew I'd found something special when I saw Sweet Potato Tater Tots on the menu at Ashton Kutcher and his crew’s newest dining hotspot. However, despite the choice chow at Ketchup, the red mood lighting made it ridiculously hard to see my dining companions. You see, the locale is obsessively tomato themed -- table centerpieces are tomatoes, the artwork features vines and vines of tomatoes, the candles are smashing red and Heinz 57 ketchup bottles are part of the décor… Get the rosy picture?

Anyway, L.A.’s favorite restaurant owner -- and co-proprietor of Ketchup -- Lonnie Moore visited our table, letting us know that the opening months have had a very strong showing of celebs. An east coast native, he’s got fabulously humble down to an art.

Despite seeing red all night, I was able to catch former boybander Lance "Princess Frostylocks" Bass and a sexy unidentified possible boyfriend plop down only a few tables away. They munched on "ménage a trios" fries "seriously – that's what they're called), while slurping Yoo-hoo and amaretto shots. And I don’t think it was just the lighting; the recently outed Lance looked saucy! Or could it be that he was just smitten with the $69 Steak for Two?

"Celebrity" Sighting: Greasy Bear's Brother

While I usually only hit up the Belmont for their Bloody Mary bar at brunch, a few friends suggested we hit the overcrowded venue before a round at Area down the street. As we nibbled our sushi salads, we witnessed the grand entrance of Brandon "I Named Lindsay Lohan 'Firecrotch'" Davis’s brother, Jason. I hate being catty, but the guy was hard to miss, as he's quite... supersized. The same can't be said about his wallet – it's not just a rumor, the Davis family is bankrupt.

So that's why Mischa Barton's ex Brandon has been bouncing checks from coast to coast?!?

Back to my sighting… Jason didn't care to uphold any image of financial health in a shoddy popped collar shirt and plebian jeans. Are the Davis’s homeless? I can’t be sure, but at least someone’s still feeding him…

Running Down a Dream

The morning after the Marceau party at Boulevard 3, where Paris’ posse modeled designs from Marceau’s new denim line, I took my usual jog, still blurry eyed from the bottles of alcohol that had cluttered every flat surface of the club. On my loop, I ran past an Entourage location shot and caught a glimpse of Jerry Ferrara setting up for a scene. Avoiding the huge cameras and filming equipment on my path, I sprinted my last two minutes and then turned a corner into my savior grounds: Starbucks.

Sweaty, smelly, and smiling from an adrenaline rush, I stood in line only to find myself standing next to... Michael Vartan. I took two steps back (god forbid he smell me!) as the former Alias hunk ordered his grande coffee. As I stepped, my lame running sneakers squeaked on the floor and he turned to look at me… and smiled!

Oh my god! He smiled that gorgeous dreamy smile.

I gave him a half smile back, knowing how fugly I must have looked. But I couldn't take my eyes off of his gorgeous bod – covered by a super thin green t-shirt -- and was totally oblivious when the barista asked me (three times!) how I wanted my drink.

As I tried to regain my composure, I watched Michael put two sugars in his drink, stirred it up and he was off.

Now I know what Tom Petty meant by “Runnin' Down A Dream…”