In Andy Dick's Hotel Room

A sincere lover of hotel bars (I know, I’m a lush!), I had to check out Hotel Stoli in Hollywood. Built in a week, the hotel inspired club is a traveling vodka promotion that will be hitting New York, Miami and other U.S. hot spots later this year. It’s where Paris spent her last night out with Danny Masterson and Bijou Phillips before she got her major sentence last week.

Without Paris in sight, it was actually a mellow scene full of C and D-lister’s (e.g. soap star wannabes). Like any hotel, you have to “register” as a guest to get in (like Stoli could let us leave without being able to track us down!), but once you are in, it’s free booze, spa treatments and access to posh “vodka flavored” hotel rooms.

Wandering around to DJ AM’s tunes, we explored the various rooms of the poshly decorated set up. It was 90 degrees that day and obviously no one had thought to install A/C, so the place was ridiculously hot. It was all the more reason to suck down the chilled vodka! I actually loved the Stoli Fashiontini made with watermelon and pineapple. Delish!

As we walked by the Blueberry Vodka room, we heard screeches of joy coming from deep inside the room. A man’s voice started yelling “Yeah, baby! That’s right!” Incredulous, we saw Andy Dick jumping on the bed with three chicks that were definitely enjoying his attention.

We switched to the Orange Room, only to find that Andy Dick (42 in December) and his posse of 25 year olds came with us. At that point, poor Andy was uberwasted. He held out his hand and introduced himself, so I politely smiled and did the same.

“Is that Kimmy spelled with a ‘Y?’” he garbled out.

“Wow!” I said “It is! You're brilliant! How did you know that?” (I love messing with drunks. He was far beyond drunk though, so I was wondering if I was on dangerous territory.)

“I’m a mind reader” he said, pointing to his head and smiling a goofy smile. He leaned back against the couch only to hit his head against the wall. “Oooooooowwwwwww…” he groaned and then started laughing to himself. I kinda just let him sit there, not sure what to say or do. He just kept laughing to himself! I was tempted to get my phone out and call Promises Malibu.

I started talking to his friend Josh who couldn’t stop talking about the “classified” film he’s making with Lindsay Lohan. All of a sudden, Andy grabbed my arm and said “You’re hot. I would love to stick [[[[bleep!]]]] in you.”

WHAT?!?! Did Mr. Dick say what I think he just said?!?!?

At that point, I did grab my phone, ready to call my friends who had magically deserted me. “Oh! You wanna get my number?” He asked, “Or here, lemmee get yours.” He leaned back to get his hand in his pocket and as he did, he knocked his head into the wall…again. As he giggled to himself, I backed away, desperate to tell my friends what had just happened.

Obviously, we won’t be seeing anymore of Andy, or Mr. Dick, but I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the guy. Can we save the poor guy? Save Andy Dick!

Comments

what a disgusting pig!

andy is a loser,

I'm wondering exactly what he said to you?!?!? but something tells me he shouldn't be saved. he needs to keep himself to his self!

Hand sanitizer is a must after shaking his hand

I saw this guy in Jax, Florida in a standup act that was all about him getting sober. It wasn't funny and he was boo'd off stage. Later that night, he was at the same club I was at and he was asking all of us in the VIP section for drugs (coke). Since then, I've moved to LA and worked with him. He has major issues. It appeared, here in LA, that he was doing coke on the set, although I did not witness him doing it. Sad, but his choice.